Cars, Cars Glorious Cars!!!

The one thing that has amazed me with Moscow is that while so many people catch the Metro, an extraordinary amount still enjoy getting stuck in horrendous traffic. It’s no problem if you are a black BMW with a blue strobe light on your roof. Somehow, it’s like Moses parting the red sea when these guys come through. The traffic is bumper to bumper, yet the motorists find a way to let the VIP’s pass through. Impossible it seems, yet, they pull it off. Makes me wonder what kind of penalty exists for people who won’t, or perhaps can’t move out of the way when these Government dudes honk their ridiculous sounding buzzer. (I promise you, it does sound ridiculous)

There is only two main rules for cars on the road in Moscow. It either has to be Russian, or German. In fact about 95% of cars I have seen in Moscow have fallen into this category. The other 5% is usually a combination of Japanese and American vehicles. I would say almost 4% of that 5% would be comprised of late model Hummer H2’s. There seems to be quite a few of them around. And they are HUGE!!.

By far the most common car on the road in Russia is the Lada 2107. Although there are several different year models on the road, they are all almost identical. The only difference is usually in the headlights and tail lights, and how rusted they are. The body shape is that of a small sedan (Think Datto 1600) or sometimes a wagon. But they are everywhere!!! Everyone either owns one, or has owned one, or knows at least three people that own one. Guaranteed, you will see no less than 30 in one day, even if you are only outside for 10 minutes a day. They are an inescapable part of daily Russian life. And if you don’t accept their existence, you will have nightmares about them. They come in 1.5l and 1.6l guises and are available in several different colours and trim packages, all guaranteed to fade within a year of purchase.

To its advantage, the Lada 2107 will keep running and running and running, long after the Duracell bunny has collapsed of exhaustion.

Most common of the German cars would have to be the BMW. There are many late model BMW’s, mostly 5 & 7 series cruising around Moscow. Most of these are black and can be found cruising up and down Tverskaya St. The ones with blue strobes usually force and honk their way through traffic. The others just sit patiently, wasting fuel.

Which brings us to the next question. If all you are doing in traffic in Moscow, is sitting still waiting for 600,000 other cars to move before you have to, does it matter whether you are in a Lada 2107 or a BMW 7 Series? It probably does. But either way, any fuel that is burnt without actually moving you anywhere is a waste. And I would guarantee that more time is spent, thinking about moving, that actual movement. I think the Metro costs close to 20c a day. For the whole day. To any station. Sure, it doesn’t have the same leather seats as a 7 series. But my god, it moves quicker than a 7 series. Nothing stops the Metro. Not even God himself.

Oh yes cars. On my first night here, just before I got hassled by the militsia, I heard a wonderful sound. It was bliss, music to my ears. The high, unstable idle of an RB26 powered vehicle. I look over and there it is. It’s twin tail lights staring back at me. An R32 GTR was stuck between a Lada and Mercedes. Hell yeah. The imports have landed. It was such a wonderful thing to see.
One car that I really like here is the G-Class Mercedes 4WD’s. To many people, they are ugly and boxy. I just so happens, I like ugly and boxy, CARS. I owned a XF. Boxy has a place in my heart. :) But yes, G-Class. Looks nice, goes nice, is nice. I want one. I wouldn’t mind sitting in traffic, if I was sitting in a G-Class. :)